Thursday, September 18, 2014

Jai hind!

I am truly starting to understand why people say rotary is the best decision they've ever made--why people say you mature the same amount you would in 4 years, in 1--why people say it is a lifetime in a year. I want to share a little bit about my last month. The last month I have attended one wedding in Patiala, and one in Delhi. Indian weddings are fascinating, beautiful. They contain so many traditions. I think it should be on everybody's bucket list to take part in one. The traditions in Indian weddings include: Sagun, Mehendi, Barat, and Phere. To start, Sagun. Sagun is when both sides of the family give gifts to the opposite side. The parents of the bride give gifts to the grooms side and vice versa. Following Sagun is Mehendi ceremony. Everybody applies henna on their arms and hands, but the bride gets stunning designs all the way up her arms and to her knees on her feet and legs. It is absolutely stunning. Third, Barat. Barat is on the day of the actually wedding. It begins with the groom coming in riding a horse. Then more gifts are distributed between family members. After Barat, the main wedding ceremony is called Phere. I attended both wedding ceremony's in Gurudwara because they were both Punjabi weddings. When entering Gurudwara, everyone must remove their shoes. This rule makes for a lot of fun at weddings. The cousins of the bride take the shoes of the groom, and to get them back, he must give the cousins money. He will only get the shoes back, if the cousins approve of the amount. This can bring a lot of shouting and chaos, but mostly a fun and entertaining time. Before the chaos begins, the wedding ceremony takes place. Different from American weddings, the bride doesn't have a huge entrance. At the beginning of the ceremony, the bride and groom are already at the front of the Gurudwara. First, they bow down before Guru Granth Sahib. Then the father ties a palla (like a long, thin scarf) that connects the bride and groom. The groom then leads the bride around Lavan (similar to an altar). The bride and groom walk around the Lavan 4 times (7 in Hindu weddings). While the couple walks around, Sikh hymns are sung with powerful drumming. It is a very symbolic ceremony. It shows the tie that will be between the two people for a lifetime--how the two individuals will be connected--leading each other for many years to come. Weddings are as emotional as they are beautiful. Getting married means the bride will leave her family. In india, 18 year olds don't leave their family for college. Marriage is when the emotional separation happens. Because of joint families, the bride will be living with the groom and his family, so it is not as emotional for the groom, only for the bride. After the Phere ceremony, the bride must say goodbye. Every family member cries. Mother and father sob, as well as the bride. It is interesting to see. It is a ceremony tied with great happiness and sadness. Indian weddings are only one part of the fascinating culture india has to offer. There is so much to learn and see here. I wish I had more than a year. Currently, I am taking many classes: dance, art, guitar, and yoga. I am also hoping to take a henna class, Indian cooking class, reiki (meditation/learning how to heal with your hands/the energy of the universe), and volunteering at an orphanage. I think india is the perfect place to go for exchange. Ones mind completely opens up to the world, and I truly don't think there is a more fascinating culture(learning all the names of the Gods and their stories alone could take a year). Seniors at NHS, please do rotary. It will teach you things about the world and yourself you REALLY can't learn anywhere else. I am having an extraordinary time. I also look forward to the months to come--the friends I will make, classes I will take, and the trips to north and south india. I want to thank my host family for bring so loving. I feel so loved and at home here. I also want to thank my school: GVN, for giving me the opportunity to learn so much: guitar, yoga, dance, and art. I honestly don't know what I would do without my school. I feel so close to so many students and teachers. Honestly, I don't know how I'll ever be able to leave, but maybe they won't let me :). I feel so grateful for this experience. I can't wait to see what another month will bring. I'll update then, thank you.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Update: India.

Wow. Where do I begin? I have been in India for two weeks and it has been such a hard, eye-opening, and life changing two weeks. Leaving my friends and family was so emotional. My closest friends came to my house to say goodbye the morning before I left. Honestly, before the came I thought I wouldn't cry. I thought that I wouldn't realize what was happening, so there would be no true emotions. Instead, the moment I saw them walking up the driveway, the tears started flowing, and they wouldn't stop. I wanted to say so much to them, but, honestly, it was hard to speak. It was weird because I didn't feel true sadness or true joy, I was just emotional beyond belief. I felt so appreciative to have such amazing friends. I wasn't terribly sad because I knew I would see them again, but they are my sisters, and I know that wherever I go in the world, I will not be able to find anyone that will replace them, I knew I would miss them terribly.  After saying goodbye to my friends, it was time to head to the airport. During the drive, I read some of the letters my friends wrote, and they were so meaningful and beautiful.  I know I will read them in years to come. They give me so much joy, inspiration, and courage. I also felt very anxious during the drive. My stomach turned when I thought about saying goodbye to my family. When arriving at the airport, my anxiety became reality. I first said goodbye to my father. My father is someone that I can tell everything to, so not having that for I year, I knew would be tough. I also knew not seeing Andre for a year would be though because thinking about not being there when he needs me for help or guidance hurts. . After brother, came mother. She was the hardest to say goodbye to. While walking through security, she started balling, then I started balling, and couldn't stop crying during security.  When I finally  got it together on the other side of security,  the guard asked me where I'm going, and saying the words and for how long made me cry again. Reality struck once again.  It was so weird because I was happy to go, there were just so many emotions. The 30 hour journey to India was SO much fun. On the plane to Amsterdam, I met a college student that will be spending a semester in South Africa studying. At the airport in Amsterdam, I met a Brazilian who was there for work. Pretty much all we talked about the world cup.  Stupidly enough,he thought Brazil would take the prize, but i knew the best team would win. #Germany. Flying over India was incredible, I felt so lucky to be experiencing it. I just kept thinking India!India!Wow! So many people do not get the experience to travel to India and I get to LIVE there. During my layover in Mumbai, I made friends with a man from Germany, we immediately became friends because we were the only non-Indians in the area. Shortly after saying goodbye to him, I met a young woman from Mexico. She was traveling around India by herself for a month. The travel taught me that there are so many amazing people all around the world. After meeting these amazing people, I finally arrived in Bhopal. I was so nervous and  excited. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to find my host family or that we wouldn't get along, but they were so perfect. I walked through the doors and was greeted by flowers and smiling faces. AAAAAnd then came culture shock. The first shock of culture came when I reached for my seat belt and my host sister said, "that's just for looks. We don't use those here." I will have to write a separate blog post about about driving in India, but let me talk about driving THROUGH  India. Driving through India is totally life changing. Everybody should experience it once in their lifetime. I never fully understood the meaning of developing country until my arrival in India. There is trash on the ground everywhere and homes of sticks surround the city. Animals are everywhere, mostly stray dogs and cows. It's amazing to see a big tin trash bin with all the trash right beside it, like no one considered to put the trash in the bin. The first time my host sister threw her trash out the window I almost screamed "stoppp, you'll get a fine!", but then I realized that is the norm here. When driving through the streets of India, you see people bathing, sleeping, and yelling. There is such an energy and chaos in this country. The first day in India was so thrilling and so exciting, but the energy and the excitement fades. India never became less great, but as the days continued I began to have self-doubt- wondering if India is the right place for me to be, if going straight to college would of been the better plan.  I began to compare my exchange with others exchange. I soon realized that you can NEVER compare your exchange. All exchanges are different, there will be parts of your exchange that others will be jealous of, and parts of others's exchange that you will be jealous of. Exchange years just aren't comparable.  India is the right place for me because it has so much to offer. This country is so different and I can grow and learn so much here, when things get hard, and I think about how much easier things would be at home, I remember that doing something hard is always a good things, you build character and appreciation. I have already experienced a great deal. I have gone to a beautiful temple. (I will post pictures of it later) I have also explored old caves, been to many different Gurudwaras, gone shopping twice, went exploring Bhopal, seen the lake view, and stayed in homes of many different family members. I have learned so much about life in India. First of all the dating is very different. If a teenager has a boyfriend, they have to keep it a secret from their parents. Parents believe their children should just focus on studies and that it is not the age for dating. Religion is life here, there is no such thing as being an atheist. Here, everything about your life comes from your religion: your diet, clothing, festivals, prayers, mediation, whether you go to Gurudwara, temple, or mosque. In addition to religion, family is also very important. Extended family is the same thing as immediate family except they sleep in different houses. My host sisters cousins are their best friends. I have gone over to my cousins house probably 5 times in the last two weeks. Also, it is very typical that the grandparents live with the family. My fathers mother is also living with us. This is called a joint family system. Here parents do not let go of children, especially the boys, the mothers tend to stay in the same house as their son. It was very interesting, one night,  my family and I were talking about tattoos and my host father said that my host sister can't get one because he doesn't approve, but when she gets married, and her husband approves, then she can get one. That was so interesting because I am free to get a tattoo, maybe my mom wouldn't approve, but once you turn 18 in the states, you are on your own. Also, girls are treated very differently. At school, I was sitting with a boy, and the teacher asked me to move and only sit with girls. When I walk in the street, my host sister tells me not to look at boys or smile, that they are mad and will get the wrong impression. Parents are very protective of their daughters too. If my elder host sister wanted to go to the mall with her friends, my host father would have to come with and stay in a different part of the mall. In addition to learning about Indian life as a whole, I have learned what school is life. My school days consists of waking up at seven, taking a shower, eating breakfast, and riding the buys from 8:15 to 9. When I arrive at school, I drop my backpack off in my classroom, then go eat with my peers, but I usually don't eat because I have yoga right after! Yoga is from 9:30 to 10:30. I have a private session with the teacher who just speaks Hindi, so I am forced to learn the language quickly. I am gradually becoming more flexible. My teacher says in two months I will be very flexible.  We also meditate for 10 minutes. Sometimes I am able to completely clear my mind and it is amazing. On fridays, I have a tradition Indian dance class from 10:30 to 11:30. After yoga, I go to my classroom. The schedule changes everyday, but I take one hour of political science (a class from humanities that I wanted to take because I am interested in it), economics, accounting, business, and English. Then after school, I have extra curricular activities. Monday and Wednesday I have an art class, Tuesdays I have vocal lessons, Thursday I have a Hindi dance class, and Fridays I am learning to play guitar. School takes up a lot of my time. In India, the school system works very differently. In 11th grade you can choose with subjects you want to take, you get a choice between all math classes, all science, humanities, or commerce.  The classmates are a a lot of fun, very outgoing and just like to have a good time. The teachers are a lot more strict in India. At Northfield High School I feel the teachers are my friends and I rarely hear them yell. In India, the teachers are always scolding and yelling at the students to be quiet. I think the main difference is the schooling in the US is a lot more interactive-there are different activities to learn the material, where in India most of the time the students write down what the teacher is saying or reading from a textbook and are expected to remember the material. In addition to the teachers, testing is also very strict in India. Here is an example. The students are required to take a test at the end of 10th grade. This score determines what class the go into the next year: science, math or commerce. What surprised me most was that the teachers share the students score with the whole class. I was talking to a student and she said people are judged on the scores they get on this exam. If they score high, they are liked, but if they score low, they are not liked. She said that there is so much pressure to do well and when she does badly she feels very bad about herself, and ashamed when her score is shared. I find this very unfair. To be honest, i find a lot of things about India unfair. It is not fair that teens have to keep their relationships a secret and that the parents are so strict. When my  host sister goes to the mall with friend, my host father must also come with, and stay in another part of the mall.  I was talking to students from my school and they were saying to hang out with friends during the week, they have to say they are going to coaching (tutoring that the students go to everyday because the studies are difficult) and then ditch the coaching and find their friends (It's called bunking). It's so eye-opening to hear about this because I hang out with my friends almost everyday during the school year. Even during finals week, we go over to blue Monday to study. In addition to social life, the dress is very different. I went to a water park on Sunday and had to wear a full swim costume. A swimming costume has material that covers your shoulders and goes down til your knees. Before coming to India, I had never worn a one piece in my life. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good to have swimming costumes, I mean woman should cover up, but I like that I am given the option in the US. I also didn't think it was very fair that boys were wearing speedos, but woman had to cover up their shoulders. How is that fair? I don't like that the parents are much more protective of the girls than they boys. Protection  can be a good thing, and maybe that's the only way to be in India because it is so dangerous, but the amount of protection and freedom should be equal between boys and girls. I see the point,because rape is such a real issues here, and that needs to be addressed first, but it just bothers me that there's such a divide. In closing, I have learned so much while being in India, 1.) I have learned that I need to do something involving cultures for my career.  I am thinking cultural psychology looks number one on my list as of now.2.)  I have learned that I don't think childhood should be very strict. I think there obviously needs to be rules and guidelines, but too much structure doesn't allow kids to grow and explore.3.)  There is so much poverty in this world. In the US, I do not face a lot of poverty, but it is everywhere and I will devote part of my life trying to help it-maybe peace corps. 4.) I always appreciated Northfield and NHS, but I am realizing how truly lucky I was to grow up there, I had every opportunity a kid would want and it was incredibly safe. My parents gave me a lot of freedom and allowed me to explore and grow. 5.) I  think that teens should be able to date freely. That teens can manage dating and studies. 6.) I realized how much I love the little things in people- maybe a little off topic, but when i meet people I like or dislike them based on little things, like their smile or how they clear their throat-a little weird, but I noticed that about myself. 7.)  I also noticed that I love keeping busy and engaging myself in as many activities as possible. I have so much more to say, but this post is getting too long, so I will have to post soon, and talk about my experiences in more detail, so that means I will probably be posting more frequently. Thanks for reading! 

Friday, June 27, 2014

Final days before India

There are just two days before I leave to go to India. I am filled with many emotions, but mostly excitement. As I think about my time abroad, I have a lot of goals for myself. I don't want my year to be easy. Rotary has never been about having fun for me. It has always been a time to find yourself. A year to get out of my comfort zone, have nothing feel familiar, but in the midst of it all, I will find myself. I hope that I'm challenged more than I've ever been challenged before. I hope that I feel lonely at times, but can find a way to feel loneliness and be ok with. I hope I will learn to grow from the loneliness.  I also hope that my mind open up-that I realize there is more to life then high school and little Northfield. I want to enrich myself so much in another culture and another life. There is a quote from the movie Eat, Pray, Love that reminds me of my year abroad. It goes like this, "I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call "The Physics of The Quest"-a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either internally or externally), and if you are truly wiling to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared-most of all- to face (and forgive) some difficult realities about yourself…then truth will not be withheld from you." Or so I believe. I hope ti find myself on this journey. I have already learned so much just from researching India. I watched a documentary about Sadhu's, people that give away all of their earthly possessions to become closer with God. This is what spoke to me during the video-Sadhu's say "If you had x-ray machine, you wear it and walk around the world-you see everyone, only skeletons walking.you cannot find who is man, woman, nothing. So, from the point of God, we are all like that. So, we look at people through the same way. And see sun. He's a friend of the whole world. He doesn't say,  "I am your enemy, I cannot go to your house". Even though you are an enemy, you are a friend. He comes to everyone. Just like that-we should also be. Showing brightness to everyone. This world was created for peace. We have to be peace. There should be peace, not violence. People just…they are becoming more aggressive. That should not be that. We have to love nature, then nature will love us. Otherwise, on day nature will take over us. So we have to think that we are one-and be happy" I know I will continue to learn more about life from all the people I meet in India. I'm so excited to start my journey. I hope you will choose to follow my journey! Thank you for reading. I'll post an update soon.